Addiction is a brain disease that alters thought and behavior in addicted persons. In the beginning of the 12 step movement Bill W. battled against the moral position that addiction was a weakness of character. All the addicted person needed to do was choose not to drink. Today we understand that addiction is a disease in which the individual is powerless over the drug. The addicted person is unable to stop despite the loss of everything, including the loss of integrity. As a result of this brain disease, the addicted person struggles with poor judgment,
impulsivity, compulsivity and memory. Often the addicted person suffers from mood disturbances such as depression and anxiety. They are often overwhelmed
by fear and despair. Today we understand the powerless the addicted
person feels and have begun to recognize that the pleasure of addiction, the “high” can result from substances outside and inside of the person. Behaviors
can trigger the release of internally produced chemicals that create the pleasure high and at least temporarily, alter mood. Sex, gambling, exercise, and shopping are only a few of the behaviors that can alter a person’s mood. When the addicted person continues to engage in these behaviors despite negative consequences, we see the footprints of addiction.

Like other addicted persons, the sexually addicted person is often suffering from co-occurring disturbances of mood. Anxiety, fear, depression and despair can be immobilizing. Compulsive masturbation, sex with strangers, or any erotic
fantasy or behavior that triggers the high and alters mood seems, at least temporarily, a better alternative to the pain of living. However, the relief is temporary and like many other addicted persons, profound shame arises as the reality of what the addicted person has done emerges. Despair and fear and hopelessness return and the addictive cycle continues. Sixty years ago society viewed the alcoholic as a “drunk”, a “bum”, a “derelict”. Today, it is no longer socially acceptable to laugh at the pain of alcoholism. Today we continue to glorify the sexual conquests of TV stars and pass judgment upon the “moral failings” of persons unable to stop their sexual acting out. We freely use words like “pervert”, “nympho” and lecher. Perhaps it is our fear that diseases can happen to anyone and that we are all vulnerable that is intolerable. Instead of drunks or perverts, persons suffering from addiction, might be something else. They might be people worthy of our understanding and compassion. They might be us.